‘Sticks and stones may break my bones’
This was the first half of the title for my first investigative piece.
As a 18-year old journalism undergraduate, my professor guided me to cover a heart-wrenching case of osteoporosis in Katihar.
I remember I was sitting in a park when he sent me the lead, and I started drafting on my phone.
Years later, I try to write this article with a lot of thought, almost abandoning the idea on multiple occasions.
My dream was to write stories that impact the world. That raise voices. That address society’s issues.
I’m rendered voiceless today. And a part of it is to do with my job as a practicing journalist.
I have a job people would kill for.
I have a house when people sleep on footpaths.
I am loved when so many are lonely.
What’s there to complain? Especially when pains are deeper around the world?
Something deeper
In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a human always goes up the ladder, not down.
After fulfilling the basic necessities of shelter and food, to being loved – the next best is to expect some dignity.
And most of our workspaces don’t give us that.
Do our workplaces owe us more than salary?
Ashneer Grover was famously quoted on his views about workplace culture.
Take a salary and go home – is what he meant.
Is the workplace supposed to be a happy place, especially in high-stress jobs like media and consultancy which demand almost your entire time?
I am not a manager yet, hence I can’t comment on their struggles of managing team pressure.
But I’ve faced it as an employee.
(I’ve backspaced this a couple times before I went ahead and owned it.)
You cannot be diplomatically correct, or generic at a sensitive topic like workplace stress causing deaths.
“Words can never break me”
(TW: Suicide)
A young man ended his life. Another one ended up losing his. All because they may have believed they were just not good enough.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.
Not the case for the young McKinsey & Company employee and Satish Nandgaonkar Sir.
Senior HT journalist Satish Nandgaonkar passed away after a cardiac arrest after humiliation from his editor, which was going on for days.
Employees testified how Meenal Baghel, the executive editor in question was known for her demeanour, causing employees to quit – or in this case – die.
These cases are not new to newsrooms, known for their high-pressure environment and cases of brash humiliation.
People cope with these through substance abuse – it’s an open secret.
When I left consultancy culture for journalism, I would feel the grass was greener at previous pastures.
But the case of 25-year old Saurabh Kumar Ladhha at McKinsey Mumbai shows it’s not all hunky dory there too.
Chicken and the egg
Why do people blame upbringing in therapy? Why is the onus of good conduct on a parent, or a boss?
Who created a toxic boss? Who created a toxic parent? Another toxic on the top?
Because we learn from the top. No matter how much we tell ourselves we don’t want to be like a “toxic” someone, we can’t not.
Breaking the chain is harder than being part of the chain.
So if the manager was harsh – that’s because they have seen it. Or they have a hard past.
Just as Nirbhaya’s killers had one.
Before I digress: A simple point.
Who gets to complain?
Just because you have a job and someone else doesn’t, you don’t need to put up with toxicity created at the top.
Just because you’re luckier than others, doesn’t mean you can’t still be unhappy.
And yes – associating jobs with our identity is real. A former manager told me how she had dreams about the workplace. How we just cannot detach from our 8 hours, which become 16 for others.
In the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I cannot compare myself to an essential worker. And it is not wrong to aspire for more. It is not wrong to put your needs first.
For an environment which doesn’t recognise me, where I’m never good enough, where appreciation results in more work and taking a break is looked down upon – I will never be able to produce more.
It’s a transaction of time and money at the end of the day. But if you expect me to put more, will I not need more?
If I spend 16 hours at work, I need to feel at home – appreciated, respected, maybe loved.
Emotional outbursts at jobs which demand so much of us cannot be demeaned.
Most of us push away these thoughts as demanding, thinking we have it so much better than them.
Step up, or step out
But quitting is not an option. It seems like giving up.
Some of us have bills to pay, and a life to live. And we aren’t able to do both.
And all of us have an image of ourselves – we can’t let that down.
It’s a chicken and an egg – where to start?
Would really want to read your thoughts.
#workplacedeaths #speakup
