An Idea Left Unsaid…
will never come back.
How many of you will resonate with the realisation that a certain task, which you like doing, actually feels meaningless in contrast to the ‘scope’ of work that we are expected to take on — as students, professionals, or people waddling through life?
Most of the time the voice in our head is an echo of how people want us to be. We are, in the end, a means to an end. Sadly, even for our loved ones.
Fitting into a Mould
How many of us are ready to accept, that we are somewhere where we don’t belong? And we, first acknowledge the reality and then work towards it? Or are we courageous to act, or mellow down for fear of consequence?
(I corrected myself — lack of courage is a harsh term because often we cannot find the voice that supports us. We are too busy thinking for others, that we listen more to others and our inner voice echoes their limited ideas about us)
About the I’s in writing, the world tries conditioning writers, students, delegates, executives, and so many others to lose their voice to become the voice of someone else’s dream.
And why can’t all of us have an idea that others believe in? We may end up believing in it after all, but a lot more than belief and luck is needed. It is doable, nothing is impossible — but sometimes our circumstances don't allow the monumental shift.
Do we change for the world, or do we strive for balance?
Diplomacy can turn to hypocrisy any minute. The truth may be labelled bitter, unacceptable, be contradicted with other instances — but we can never negate what we feel about our experiences.
We are told not to express too much, feel too much, or think too much.
Some may also ask us to not work or study too much.
It will be too cynical to think everything has a vested interest, or insecurity/greed of expectations and result is the root to all such actions.
Some people genuinely care for us. But between the pendulum of believing everyone because the world is as good as we are, or zero trust seeing the negative stories create an invisible protection mechanism for us, we need to be selective. Which is my idea of balance.
Living for the self is not desirable by all, but living for others is not desirable to the self. Hence a boundary, and balance is one thing you can blindly follow.
Who to trust? And how much is too much?
They let you do to you, what you allow. You only reap what you sow.
So instead of victimizing oneself, one must think of what was the collateral for this collaboration? Why did we allow ourselves to rely on someone to this extent of vulnerability? The extremes of victim and villain will be instantly solved.
Ownership of actions, mindfulness of their consequence and a resolve to change for the better is what we need to stand tough in the face of adversity, which we may or may not have created.
Which is why, carpe diem and say it. There will never be a better time than now. Even after writing, that idea will never come back as intensely as it brims now.
The Third Person
By now, it is not tough to realise that an alien voice governs us. (No, this isn’t the lean jiggly black-eyed spaceship wader I am speaking of. Obama may have said aliens exist, but we will come to that some other day!)
We are influenced by the words or the perceived reactions of others. For anxious and underconfident people, even one of them is enough to become a soft sack of vulnerability. We have felt that or developed a stoic mechanism that takes a lot but is semi-permeable, and floods like a volcano at something that is not the cause, but only the catalyst or tipping point.
Either way, unless you take hold of your own dreams and decide one day to ask yourself what YOU want, will the third person or the idea of their existence and worth stop pressing you down and shadowing what you hold.
You and I should not leave the conversation. Without the ‘personal’ (intrapersonal — you know if you know, the comms students and professionals out there), and without interaction, nothing can be achieved.
Unless not directly spoken to, how can someone’s will affect our vision for ourselves and the world? Don’t be so intuitive about the needs of others! And neither expect them to be intuitive of yours.
And before you procrastinate what you love…
Voices of people will bog you down
All you need, is a here and now
Be that strong, that you can overpower their negativity with a single, yet strong commitment of believing yourself
I realised this the hard way.
It cost me time, energy and fear of the future to accept that I was letting everyone decide what was best for me because I didn’t know what I wanted. It penetrated to something as basic as not being able to order something, then having to eat what someone else orders for us and cribbing about it later.
Have we also unconsciously put people in boxes before checking on ourselves, without being over-critical and talking ourselves down?
Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend if they mess up. Because if you are harsh to yourself, I can assure you that harshness and bitterness will sooner or later poison the life outside of you.
And finally, the process may guide you, but small actions will definitely define the road to what you want, rather than leaving it on destiny to create a path for you, which looking back — may not be the final thing you wanted.
And then, this third person you depend on more than yourself, will be nowhere to pick you.
So remember, that you, and only you, do you.
Which is why, carpe diem and say it. There will never be a better time than now.
Even after writing, that idea will never come back as intensely as it brims now!